“I choose to sing!” This is my determination right now.
I have reason not to feel like singing. The days are shortening, and the darkness always seems to creep into my soul. The season of depression is descending. This always brings melancholy. This fall a combination of covid and ‘rage’ on social media also tend me toward sadness.
This week I learned that a contractor who worked on our Threshold House renovations has tested positive for covid. I went for a test and must wait for up to 5 days for results. In the meantime, we live in isolation which is deeper than our regular covid isolation! All this occurs over the Thanksgiving weekend upsetting all our plans both for feasting and worshipping. Together it feels like I have sufficient reason not to sing.
Two things have caused me to determine to sing.
The first is a memory. I fondly recall my mentor/boss Capt. T. straightening me out a few times. Once he invited me to pray about something and I dared reply “I don’t feel like praying!” His immediate reply was “Well pray until you feel like it!.” Another time he asked me to write a kind letter to someone who had sent us a nasty epistle of their own. Again, I said, “I don’t feel like it!” and he replied, “What would you write if you did feel like it?” and he waited a beat before adding “Write that!”
The second thing is my Scripture reading this morning. I read of the Last Supper, of Judas’ predicted betrayal and departure from the twelve (certainly a downer)., of Jesus detailed prediction of his pending ordeal, and the disciples’ child-like squabbling. Jesus before his final journey to Gethsemane did one last thing at that commemorative meal. He sang a hymn! Jesus might not have ‘felt’ like singing. He chose to sing!
The times we live in offer us all sorts of reasons for not wanting to sing but God has given us more reason to sing his praise! We do not walk through this dark valley alone! He is greater than the darkness. He has given us a glimpse of the future he holds securely for us. A part of my song today is the word “Maranatha” (Lord Jesus come quickly). I ask him to come to my aid. I ask him to soon establish his rule and reign. We wait and we sing. Even in the times of despair He comes when we sing.
I chose to sing.