I guess it is all how you look at it! I was thinking about all my losses and began to enumerate them in my mind. Death and failure and drastic change. I found myself wanting to dive for a ball my grandson had hit toward me as I realized that I was well past the ‘diving’ stage of my life. There are an awful lot of losses in life, if you live long enough. But then I began to recount the gains: lives that had been touched and transformed by God through our ministry, a grandson to play ball with, and another on the way. I so enjoy seeing our children as fine adults. I have new appreciation for God’s nature and love to photograph it!
These are tremendous gains that I would never want to give up even in exchange for those things I have lost.
I do not enjoy being ‘fragile’. It is a big adjustment, but I realise I (in fact all of us) have always been fragile and my ‘invincibility’ was but a sad illusion.
If then, it is all in how you look at it, the battle for satisfying life is in the transformation of our minds, just like Romans 12 suggests.
As I dwell on the feelings of loss what I am doing is forgetting that God is good. He empties my life of childish things in order to make room for the grander things of his design. This is not to say that certain losses like deaths are not to be properly grieved, but rather that even as we mourn we can experience comfort in God’s goodness.
I find myself saying to myself (sometimes you need an intelligent conversation) “This growing old is not for the faint of heart!” Life is full of losses up to the final loss of this mortal life, but mortality makes way for immortality!
Losses are not all temporary though many are. Losses make room for a grander plan.
I have decided to try and look at things differently. Rather than just bemoan my losses (I am realistic enough to know I am unlikely to stop that completely) I will see that God is making room in my life for more not less. I know that one day even death will be swallowed up in victory. The whole trajectory of life and history is to the fullness of the coming Kingdom. I have decided that I am better off contemplating that Kingdom than lamenting the fading of this one.